Between Before and After
Blurb -
Five friends. Three days. One heart-stopping discovery.
Three years ago, Danny Morris left behind a gun, a tonne of questions and a gaping hole in the lives of those who loved him. What he didn’t leave was a suicide note.
On the anniversary of his death, his closest friends gather at his parents’ beach house in New Zealand's idyllic Marlborough Sounds. Danny’s girlfriend, Kate, holds fast to his memory by continuing to live in the house they shared. Struggling to move on with her life, her blossoming feelings for Danny’s best friend, Finn, only complicate matters. Withdrawing from his high-flying lifestyle, Max has carved out a much simpler life. Self-medicating with alcohol, fighting off nightmares he refuses to talk about, the memory of finding Danny’s body has him sailing dangerously close to the edge. While Finn is finally ready to address his feelings for Kate, trying to save Max from himself dredges up long-buried anger and frustration that threaten to overwhelm him. For Lacey and Gavin, a recent bereavement gives them a heart-wrenching insight of a different kind.
Instead of time easing the pain, the group find themselves stuck in limbo, awaiting the understanding and peace that has so far eluded them.
Three years ago a single bullet ricocheted through all their lives, but this year everything will change.
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| 5 Book Rating |
This is a very touching story about 5
close friends, that get together once a year for the anniversary of a
loved one who took his own life. Danny. He was like a brother to
them, and to one, a lover, and I really don't think that this could
have been written any better. I mourned right along with them, and I
laughed when they told stories about how goofy Danny was...it was
like he was my friend as well.
I liked all of the character's and
really enjoyed how it was told from all of their perspectives; you
got to read about how each individual was either coping or not coping
with the situation, and then witness as they all came together and
helped each other. That is friendship in it's truest form. This made
the book flow very nicely, and kept me reading from start to finish
in basically one sitting. It was the perfect read for an overcast
Sunday morning/afternoon. Not only was it a book about friends
reminiscing and mourning the loss of their friend, it also had a
little bit of romance to go along with it. Also, what I wouldn't give
to spend a week where they were staying! The scenery sounded
beautiful!!!
Like the author says at the end of the
book, she likes to write real people that deal with real-life
situations, and I really think she nailed this one on the head. This
story resonated with me because I knew someone who chose to end her
life too soon, and you really do feel hopeless after the fact and
beat yourself up with the “what if” factor...
This book really defines the true
meaning of friendship.
I was
given this copy in exchange for an honest review – Loved it, thank
you!!
Between Before and After by Amanda
Dick
Teaser - Finn (2)
He
cleared his throat quietly and walked past Max, setting both their
cups down on the coffee table and sinking into the sofa again. Max
didn’t move. Finn stared at his reflection, trying to read him. The
moonlit night was obliterated by the lamplight inside. All he could
see was Max’s face in the window, but what could Max see? What was
going on inside his head?
Finn
could feel his energy waning and his heart felt weary once again. It
was no good. No matter how hard he tried to fight it, no matter how
hard he pushed things away, he was tired. He was tired and he was
angry and he wished – he wished – he understood what had happened
that day. Maybe then, they could all forget about how Danny died,
just for a while – just long enough to heal. Would they all be here
– screwed up, feeling guilty, feeling responsible somehow – if
Danny had died in a car accident, or dropped dead from a heart
attack? Probably not. But because he had shot himself in the head,
here they were. Danny’s decision haunted them more than any twist
of fate or act of God. It seemed grossly unfair.
Wearily,
he glanced over at Kate. She looked so tranquil. It was like all the
worries of the world fell away from her and she was free to just be
herself again. Like she had been before.
“You
should tell her.”
Finn’s
head snapped up. Max had turned around and was watching him, his arms
folded across his chest, his face maddeningly blank.
“What?”
“You
heard me.”
Over
the last few hours, whatever hangover Max had been heading for had
disintegrated, swallowed up by the nightmare and the buckets of
caffeine that followed. He wasn’t stone cold sober, but he didn’t
appear to be ridiculously worse for wear either.
Finn
reached for his coffee, his heart racing. “I don’t know what
you’re talking about.”
“Bullshit.
I’ve seen how you look at her.”
Finn
was out of his depth. He was so tired, he could barely think straight
- and he wasn’t ready for this conversation, not by a long shot.
He
tried to shrug casually, feigning ignorance. “Mate, you’re way
off – “
“It’s
different now. You should tell her, before you miss your window.”
Finn
stared up at him. “I don’t… what do you mean, miss my window?”
“Before
we all bugger off and everything goes back to the way it was before.”
He
was right. Once they all went their separate ways again, it would be
harder to talk to her. If he was going to do this at all, it had to
be here – and soon. He groaned softly and fell back into the sofa,
staring at the ceiling.
“Was
I that obvious?”
Max
smiled then and Finn noticed how much younger he looked when he did
that. Personally, he was feeling quite the opposite. He looked at
Kate now, scared suddenly that she may have woken up and was lying
there staring at him like he’d lost his mind. Luckily, she wasn’t.
“No,
not really. Little things gave it away. I guess it’s what happens
when you just sit back and watch the world go by.”
Max
sank into the nearest armchair, reaching over to pick up his coffee
mug. Most of the time, Max gave him the impression that he was
walking a tightrope, stretched between reality and some corner of his
mind that he went to hide from everything. Regardless, there was no
doubt that his insight was staggering. Maybe there was something in
that – stepping back, watching the world go by.
“You
really think she’s ready for that?” he asked, afraid to hope. “I
talked to her about that earlier – just in general terms, I mean –
and I just don’t know. She’s bloody hard to read sometimes.”
Max
rested his coffee mug on the arm of the chair, staring down at it
thoughtfully. “She seems different, but in a good way. More like
her old self.”
“Yeah,
I kind of thought that too. At New Years, we had this – I don’t
know what the hell it was. I kept putting it down to the booze, but I
just couldn’t get it out of my head. It was just the way she looked
at me, and we nearly...” He cleared his throat lightly, shaking his
head at the memory. “And then when Kelly and I called it quits, I
was kinda relieved, to be honest. She deserves a hell of a lot more
than I’ve got to offer.”
“Who,
Kate?”
“Kelly.”
“Ah.”
“I
don’t know, though.” He glanced over at Kate again. “It’s
complicated.”
“No
one said it was gonna be easy.”
“Well
aren’t you just chock full of wisdom tonight?” Finn grumbled
sarcastically, shaking his head. “You’ve hardly said two words in
the past couple of hours, and now all of a sudden you’re Dr Phil?
What’s up with that?”
Max’s
face fell. He flashed a quick smile, shrugging his shoulders as the
shutters came down.
A Booknatics Interview with Finn
Q: At the end of the weekend when everything
about Danny was all out in the open, would you consider selling the Monaro, even
though you had previously stated that you wouldn't? I think it may give you the
fresh start that you need.
A: I
don't think so. I did think seriously about it after that weekend, but it just
didn't feel right. That weekend was hell in a lot of ways, but I learnt a lot,
about myself and about everyone else. Since then, Kate and I have talked - a
lot - and she helped me to realise that burying all that stuff like I did was
just delaying the inevitable. I didn't want to deal with any of that - I was so
angry with him, and it hurt. Being strong is all very well, but what you're
really doing is pushing your own feelings aside, for whatever reason. Danny was
like my brother. No one understood me like he did, and I think when he killed
himself, I just felt like he was shutting me out - like I wasn't good enough for
him to talk to, like he didn't think I'd understand. There's no denying how
much that hurt, but I don't hate him for it. I just miss him - I think I'll
always miss him. Thanks to Kate, I have someone to talk to now who understands.
The Monaro kind of represents all the things I loved about him. Kate helped me
to see that.
Q: What was your first thought as to why your
best friend would take his own life?
A: Honestly?
I didn't have a clue then, and I still don't. No one seems to know. Whatever
it was, he took it with him. I sometimes wonder if the past three years
would've been easier if we'd known why he did it. But really, who cares, right?
Knowing why he did it wouldn't have stopped him. He didn't tell any of us what
he was planning, so what difference would it really have made to know, after he
died? All it would've done, I think, is give us more reasons to beat ourselves
up.
Q: Were you ever concerned that Max and Kate had
romantic feelings for each other?
A: Concerned? No. After Danny died, she needed someone
and so did Max. I didn't want to deal with any of that, to be honest. I had
enough trouble sleeping at that point. I'm glad they had each other. Kind of
took the pressure off.
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